You think you kNow Me?

ok. new blog.

2007-06-28T00:47:00.000+08:00

me being itchy again.
i hate blogspot.
it's toooo.... well... like sec sch la.

so i've moved.

http://simplydewi.livejournal.com

go thr for updates.

Zouk

2007-06-27T23:11:00.000+08:00

http://www.juiceonline.com/djquest2007/

i got 2 invites to zouk's event.
each admits 2 till 10.30.
free flow.
friday 29 june.

who wants.
gimme a call.

i shall be party & fast food-free for this whole month.

Dewi

2007-06-27T21:29:00.001+08:00

seriously. do guys get turn on by this?
i dun get it. m not being mean.
but honestly, really?!

if u do, please contact me!
i want to finally be free to eat watever and grow to watever size.
without people judging me.
oh. who am i kidding.
and now my guy is on.
later alligators.

Dewi

rain + donuts = bliss

2007-06-26T01:15:00.000+08:00

omg. i juz ordered dunkin donuts online!
who would have known dat is such service online!
come sunday i'll be in a bliss...

i love the smell of the rain.
yet the sound irritates me.
ha.go figure.

Dewi

wisdom gone!

2007-06-25T22:12:00.000+08:00

had my right wisdom tooth extracted.
cost me fucking 318 dollars.
and it hurts like hell.
wad ya expect when they had to jab ya 4 fucking times!

now my face is swollen.
5 days mc yet m worried about not being at work.
shit.

next appointment on 9 july to take out the stitches.
i would show u the tooth but it'll probably make ya throw up ur dinner.

and the next extraction for the left side: 1 mth later.
and den i'll say, here we go again.

better start on my work.

ciao'

Love but in pain!
Dewi

THE EX'S SURVEY

2007-06-25T03:44:00.000+08:00

1) Would you hug your ex again?
Yes.

(2) How many girlfriends/ boyfriends have told you they loved U?
none. dats sad in a way.

(3) How many girlfriends/ boyfriends did you actually love?
i dunno. was love measured by the time we were 2gether?

(4) Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt?
without a doubt.

(5) Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
not tat i know of. but hey, m pretty sure i ain't the cause of it.

(6) Are you happier single or in a relationship?
both have it's peaks.

(7) Have you ever been cheated on??
definitely. shall i count how many? oh wait. i only have 2 hands.

(8) Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?
yeah.

(9) Have you ever had your heart broken?
broken yet unsold.

(10) If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
maybe. but u know how the saying goes, u can't change fate. so, live with it.

(11) Do you still love your ex?
nope. but What goes around comes around!

( 12) Do you believe that you are a good girlfriend/boyfriend?
i was gfs to guys i didn't really love and a friend to guys i love.
does dat answer the qn?

(13) Have you dated someone who was not good to you?
yeah. dun we girls juz love guys who aint good for us? *eye roll*

(14) Have you dated someone older than u?
yeah. maybe i should date someone younger since the older ones dun leave fond memories.

(16) Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
yea. people make mistake but only if u learn from it previously.

(17) Do you believe in love at first sight?
nope. lust at 1st sight? hell, yea.

(20) Ever want to get married?
ask me again in 5 years? now fear mulut masin.

(22) Ever kissed your friend's boyfriend or girlfriend?
yea. hey, she was ard. somewhr. ha.

(23) If given a chance, would you like to have your ex back?
does pictures bring back the time again? only in memories.

(24) Still friends with your ex's?
people move on. and hey, u dun bring excess baggage.

(25) Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it?
urg. no. dats juz dumb.

a survey i wanted to do. cause why?
i was bored. ha.

it's gonna be alrite eventually.

2007-06-25T02:41:00.000+08:00

when u can see the glimmer of sunshine in the dark sky,
the hope in every failure,
den u'll know everythings gonna be alrite..
eventually :-)

and tat's wat i'm gonna be.
hell yeah!

cheeRs!
Dewi

a note to the past & present.

2007-06-22T00:19:00.000+08:00

The Past
to the boy who was true to himself:

old scars of forlorn memories.
epitome of my love histories.
feelings of first true emotions.
thank you for those.
u made me realise i am worth it.

The Present
To that boy:

u make me doubt my worth in this commercialize world.
thanx jerk.

Dewi

Butterflies in my Tummy??

2007-06-21T00:56:00.000+08:00

k. i got tis from dolly mag.

know those "butterflies" u feel when u're nervous/excited?

they're actually a chemical reaction called Dopamine(Dope?!hahah!) ,
produce by ur body when u experience something pleasurable..
It works mostly in the brain and lets u know when something feels good, so tat explains why u seek tat feeling over & over again.
It kinda explains why we tend to go for the "same" guy again even when we had our hearts broken by em.
The same reason y we always do something we're not suppose to!
So there! Tat explains all my dumb/stupid/lame stuff i do! ;-p
It's a scientific fact man.. m not insane!

now, everyday i shall put up:

5 random things i know!

1. Girls masturbate at a younger age than guys as they enter puberty 1st.
(so guys, dun ever ask whether girls masturbate. everyone does.)
sorry for sounding crude.

2. It takes 90 seconds to figure out if u're attracted to someone.
(1.5mins.. maybe.. it's called lust.)

3. A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.
( i look like goldfish & now i think i may have the same memory span.
Shit! ok den. who wants a pet goldfish!?)

4. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.
( ok. only sleep. no more tv. except maybe on wed & thurs)

5. The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.
( i need to sleep now. gotta lose those calories!)

Love,
Dewi

2007-06-19T13:56:00.000+08:00

ok. i shall stop ranting bout hIM.
i shall rant about me?
ermm...
ok... ermm..
i got nothing to say.
oh!
i'm stuck in the office.
yeah.
not!

m bored.
will someone sms/call moi everyDAY to entertain me?!
dat way i won't think about him!
time: 8am - 6pm, Mon-Fri(any day)
Pretty pleasssseeeeee my beautiful & good-looking friends!

contribute to the NEEDY ----> Me!
thanx!
i'll pay u with my hugs & kisses!
i promise!

ok, maybe i'll get ya something for ur bday..
only if u really really really love me!
so, wad u guys waiting for!

Cepat! angkat telepon itu dan tekan nombor ku!

translate: Hurry! Pick up the telephone & dial my number!

Love!
Dewi

to steph: shuddup steph! and can u like use ur hp to msg/sms me?!
to minz: i try email u.
to xin & chu: i miss ya! i also want BREAK!!

low in the pits.

2007-06-17T23:24:00.000+08:00

i can't be like this anymore.
it's tiring & it's hopeless.
why can't you be gone from my mind.
my pride is in tatters.
i want you so much in my life.
after how u treated me.
i'm not blind. i see how u treat me.
yet my heart is blind. it beats on for ya.
i've got no space left for anything else.
advice & scoldings are often soft whispers in the wind.
something i can barely hear & feel affected by anymore.
m seriously at wits end going thru each day without u realising.
days outz can no longer be a remedy.
every thing i do is juz a shadow or a fantasy of what i wish we had.
why can't i have you?
who's there blocking ur feelings?
i tried to forget u.
erase every trace there is of u.
though we dun meet nor talk.
the ghost of u is around.
i tried replacing u.
been on many dates & diff guys.
but each time it hurts more and more.
the feeling juz aint the same.
i smile each day. yet i wish to cry every moment.
i stare at the wall to let my mind rest.
tis can't go on.
can somehow we put an end to tis?
oh god. tis is so pathetic.
we can't be together anyway.
if tis is how much i love you, i rather not love anymore.
i hate myself more each nite for falling for you.

life is exhausting if i have to live tis way anymore.
please give back my heart. i want to end this.
yet i cant face u & say all this.
nor do u know about tis blog.
i'm going crazy.
will u hug me & let me cry in ur arms.

my brain is so fucked up.
oh well. wads new.

2007-06-15T13:22:00.000+08:00

m sick.

pictures explain.
sorry if the pics are ugly.
m real. u get wad u see.

TBG'07 EXPO HALL
10th June '07

Raz's Grad
12th June '07

Farhan's Grad
14th June'07
9am
Steph's Grad
14th June 07

Sentosa Luge & skylift? rides
14th June '07
sometime after 7?

End of the nite with food.

Dewi

heartache.

2007-06-11T15:05:00.000+08:00

i tried.

but it hurts.

i can't get over.

no matter how long.

wat was it dat affects me so?

the pain burns in my heart.

photos i see of him.

his name.

the v.place he sat.

the bikes.

the whole fucking np reminds me of him.

seriously in fucking depressing mode.

i cant spent any moment by myself .

wkends are the worst.

i tried to get hm as late as possible.

time alone means time for him to enter my thoughts.

not tat i dun think about him every free minute in my time.

sleep deprive.

he isnt my dream guy.

but y i always dream bout him?

fuck it.

i hate tis.

n m gonna put up a mly song.

fuck it if u guys think so minah.

i couldnt care less anymore.

m exhausted.

DEWI

oh dear. i shall nv trust again.

2007-06-11T01:23:00.000+08:00

TBG 2007 was the BOMB man!
super doper dope sial!
and i dun EVER say tat word unless it's the absolute
POWER-GE-DE-GAK concert i've ever been!
Wreaking Crew Orchestra, u guys rock!
not to mention others too..
but yeah! WCO superb!

2 bad things i hate though.
1. WHY EXPO?!
it took forever la to reach! imagine all the wayy from WEST to EAST END!
can from hyper become living dead.
seriously la. OMG.
2. WHY HALL 1?!
It's like the furthest Hall from the MRT!
super far la. like from Far East to TAKA!
tat's far wad. Muz tell EXPO to have travellator!
or wateva those flat escalator called.

...............................................................................................

n m feeling slightly pissed.
i have no faith in guys.
seriously.
u guys are pretty aite to be friends.
but as boyfriends, for me.
you guys sucks.
is sex all u can think about?
know how cheap it can make a girl feel.
so true dat u guys think wif ur dick.
tis statement may/not cause protest from u guys.
but fuck it, it's my blog.

dun all girls deserve the same respect?
do u always get wat u want and den throw it away when u're bored?
shit.
if u guys cant stay true, please disappear from our sight.
life is already hard as it is.
love and foolish games juz makes it harder.

i quit.

DEWI

2007-06-08T15:23:00.000+08:00

He's the one I call in the middle of the night.
He makes everything alright.
He holds me when i cry.
He makes me smile.
He shares my dreams.
He wipes away my tears.
He loves me
He's with me without any regret.
Too good to be true?
Yea..
That's why
I just haven't found him yet...

To my lovelies, chins up aite!
we're all gonna get thru this rough patch in our life soon enough.
We will survive.

In the meantime, we're gonna put our troubles aside & PARTY!

Dewi

2007-06-07T01:10:00.000+08:00

unfinished work.
my tongue hurts.
m still not over ya.

it's been an exhausting day.

i need a haircut.
n m about to fall asleep.

goodnite.

Dewi

lalalala...

2007-06-06T01:10:00.000+08:00

watcha do when ya bored?
meet up ur frens & go K-Box!
my freaking 2nd time & i still sound horrible.
oh well.
practice makes perfect, rite!
erm. i dun think my singing voice exists though.

i have mixed plans tis wkend.
i fear i may overplanned again.
shit. hahah.
gotta write down which is confirm.
busybusybusy!

so anyone gonna hit the clubs on fri?
do tell! e more the merrier!

till den...

DEWI

2007-06-04T10:47:00.000+08:00

m in sch.

peng disturbing me.

hudz not layan-ing me.

chu v.bored.

xinni staring at her own screen.

n i'm so bored for typing tis.

starting of my day.

exciting rite.

............................................................

2007-06-03T03:44:00.001+08:00

Seduction

flirty, but can be faithfull

you have a close relationship with your men. you dont like to be played, so you dont cheat on your boyfriend. guys respect your faithfulness, although you sometimes brake up with one to get with another.

How do you compare?

Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

2007-06-03T03:09:00.001+08:00

WHY DO PEOPLE FALL FOR YOU?

YOU ARE THAT WiFEY MATERiAL

YOU ARE EVERYTHiNG THAT SOMEONE COULD ASK FOR. YOU KNOW HOW TO MAKE THEM HAPPY, WHEN TO BE SERiOUS & WHEN TO BE FUNNY. YOU PUT THEM FiRST & ALWAYS MAKE AN EFFORT TO BE WiTH THEM. YOU ARE FAiTHFUL, AND ARE A LOVER. YOU ARE THAT TRUE WiFEY MATERiAL, AND ANYONE WHO iS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET YOU, BETTER KEEP YOU!

How do you compare?

Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

2007-06-01T17:12:00.001+08:00

What is your inner element?

Water

You are the Water that flows throughout the earth to maintain life, and the force that shapes our planet. Very emotional, you are keen to other peoples feelings, and make a truly wonderful friend. Water has the most intuition and psychic energy than any of the other elements. So if you have ever though that maybe it was something more than your "gut feeling", listen to that instinct more, it will take you places! You are very receptive, but also extremely sensitive... often too emotional. You have an over active, imaginative mind; you are often in your own reality. You have a subtle, persistent, and even intense nature about you. You are very romantic, and a very loyal partner. Here's the negative aspects of the element Air: you are susceptible to accidents that happen in the home, prone to becoming victims of theft, are very secretive, jealous, have a very hot temper when provoked, you are also susceptible to the abuse of drugs and alcohol, and you are also easily drawn to unpredictable situations and unbalanced people.

How do you compare?

Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

2007-05-31T15:36:00.001+08:00

Fantasy NightDream.
tousled hairs. lovies. night walks.cool breeze.finger food. sand & sea.
absolute love.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

where's the line between being good, having fun and being wild?
What's ur definition?

Dewi

work.

2007-05-29T17:13:00.000+08:00

m rotting in the office.
lalalalala.
i can go crazy~~~~
lalalalala.
i think i am.
la~

know wad. m enticipating for 1 movie!
now dun laugh when i say it.
those who watch malay shows, may know tis movie.

Remp-It!
hahahaha!
super excited to watch it on suria on Vesak Day!
oh well... m curious la... y they call em Mat Rempits!
btw, i do hav a jiwang soul in me...
who would hav guessed.

will someone drive me around for once?

Dewi

fullstop.

2007-05-29T02:17:00.000+08:00

i did it.
i have absolutely no contacts regarding you.

somehow, my mood feels lighter.

n fuck, my assignment is due on wed.

i realised i use fuck alot.
i type but i dun say.
same as i flirt but i dun date?

hmm.

argh.

2007-05-29T02:00:00.000+08:00

i dun get it.
why are u still in my thoughts every single free min?

i've already classified ya as a jerk.
i know you are.
well, at least u are, when it comes to me.
damn it.

u're a drug.
addictive & absolutely hands-off.
i wanna know everything about u.
yet i dun wanna know anything bout u.

i really should take the hint.
but, fucking why, did u even sms me a happy bday.
u're suppose to have my number deleted away.
like i did to urs.

i deleted ur picture.
i deleted ur number.
i cant delete ur friendster.
i cant delete ur msn.
why?

i truly cant get over ya.

when will dat come?
it's freaking driving me crazy.

and it's been like 3 wks? a mth?
since we the last?!
damn fuck. i hate ya for being in my system.

making me going all haywired and stupid.

i seriously hate Malay-speaking guys.
or more precise, mat rempits.
u guys aint good news.
never good news.

i'm so pissed rite now.

m 20.

2007-05-28T15:55:00.000+08:00

thanx to those who wishes me bday!

n if u didn't, u aint a friend of mine.

but, oh well.

m not that evil..

well, not really..

but maybe? :-p

since m bday, the living wasnt free to hang wif me,

i spent it wif the land of the dead. literally.

graveyard roaming was well.. dead.

den my car practically drifted while heading to the jetty.

9 of us. 1 girl being me.

2 cars. 1 bike.

another day passed and went.

n i did wat i've been wanting to do.

2007.

an eventful year.

Things to do before i leave S'pore:

1. Have a guy who loves me more.

~~2. Pierce my tongue.~~ 27/05

~~3. Clubbing non-stop for 2 mths.~~ 17/02 - 14/04

~~4. Drive 4 diff cars.~~ 27/05 - 6th car?

~~5. Stop being miss pussover.(i mean pushover.)~~ beginning of the year

6. Be independent of guys.

~~7. Be~~ Being myself.

8. Do good in my studies.

9. Have fun with old & new friends.

tat's all i can think of.

Past wkend wif the Dance mates:
Pirates was love. And thanx guys for the time.

all look happy. except for Alex. Y u not smiling!?
i look damn tired la.

Bday Girls! Mine was on 26 n hers 25th!

no pics on graveyard outing cause i fear to take smthing else... :-P
n funk, ur frens were pretty cute.
dere, i said it.

cheeRs!

Dewi

i'm good.

2007-05-25T17:43:00.001+08:00

it's tat time of the year again!
less than 7 hrs to my day.

m gonna jump back on the dating wagon soon.
life is good. dun take stuff tat is ard u for granted.
it may not be thr for long. seize the moment.
c'est la vie!
&
sorry guys if i sound suicidal (i refuse to call it EMO, K! tat's such a label.)

shout out to May Babies:

Raz 23rd! ( miss ya KAK!)
JJ's 21st! (ur was bday was sweet!)
MIN-AH 22nd BDAY! (OLD LIAO!)
MY LovelY sister! (age undisclosed!)
phadz 23rd? (i still dun know how to spell ur name!)

and now i shall disappear for some celebration!
have a great wkend everyone!

and my bday prezies tis yr is:
kisses & hugs to show u care!
(all races, sex & other labels u wanna be called are included!)
unless u got a bad breath or body odour!
hahaha... kidding!

much love & hugs!
Dewi!

Popping pills. wish it was happy pills.

2007-05-24T01:36:00.000+08:00

"i dun like you. i hate you. u're a jerk."
repeating to myself over and over again whenever thoughts of ya came thru.
n the more i feel the pain.

overcoming those emotions.
put up a front.
the wall is soon gonna break down.
and i cant hold it up anymore.

i wish it never happen.
i wish i was numb.
how did i let emotions get involve.
i've lost control.
i'm about to crash and burn.

feeling so so tired.
awake on sleepless nights.
i need to sleep my days away.
cut all ties to the world for awhile.
till m ready to shine once again.

Dewi.

i'm.moving.on.

2007-05-22T23:21:00.000+08:00

gawd. tis blog can be freaking depressing.
i gotta start all over again.
well.. until i stop my mood tat swings like a yo-yo.
.............................................................................................

and u know wad guys, he juz aint worth it.
do i always like guys who are jerks?
oh. yea. i do.
will a GOOD BOY save me?!

................................................................

and whoever is free on friday 25th,
come watch Pirates of the Carribean wif me!
all are welcome but u gotta buy ur own tixs!
so gimme a call if u wanna catch it too!
......................................................................................

my bday is in 4 days.
will u remember it and give me a pleasant surprise?
............................................................................

mood swings can be such a bitch.
so does falling in love.

love and provocation.
i love provoking ppl. it shows my love to ya!

.................................................................

tis is such a random entry.
shows how my mind switches mode every so often.

........................................

maybe it's time.
but when exactly?
it's keeping me from going further.
i think i should juz be like nike and just do it.

contemplating minds
Dewi

sunday love.

2007-05-21T01:11:00.001+08:00

i'm in love.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
hahah. NOT!
Got a shock!? hahah!
But today there were 3 boys whom were absolute love.
Lets give em nicks.
hmm...
1st would be: Kissy Lips. (THose Red LoveBuds!)
2nd is: emo boy wif alluring eyes.
3rd is: Hott Stuff! (wif a capital H!)
em 3 are absolutely yummy!
.
.
YES! u guys are YUMMY!
such eye candies!
oh! i think my heart's broken into 3!
.
.
LOVE LOVE!
and i love my TUMS the most!
Love Ya Hunz!
.
.
officially left wif 5 days to e age-changing day.
and 6 days to a step forward to my life.
.
.
Lets Bring It On!

Much Love!
Dewi

for once, i think too much till it render me speechless.

2007-05-18T02:03:00.000+08:00

i dun think my 20th will be great.
damn. 8 days left to get tat day over and done wif.

Dewi

blank. only thoughts of u.

2007-05-17T01:02:00.000+08:00

i'm such a fool:
for liking ya.
for obsessing bout ya.
for thinking about ya.
for arranging our dates everytime.
for calling ya.
for juz waiting for ya.

and i have only 1 answer for all the stupid behaviors which i SWORE not to do:
love is random.

and now great. i broke my oath. lighting gonna strike me.

lets get it over and done with.
maybe den i will truly wake up and realise
WAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!

sometimes i do think i really hate ya so much.
yet it's more of the

sungguh no love for anyone now.
m too consumed wif self hatred.

Dewi

to all who tag -
hi. and dun put any links to my blog.
the lesser ppl know how suicidal i can be, the better.
it will make the world a better place.

pictures do the talkin.

2007-05-14T00:18:00.000+08:00

mind is blank. again. let pics do talking. GUESS THE STORYLINE!

The end. only end of phototakin. the nite was still young.

Dewi

Li - wei, dun tell ppl my blog.
haris - u say hi only to li?!
minz - sending.... say thank u to me!

now tell me who loves my song! ahahah...

love and hate you.

2007-05-11T17:21:00.000+08:00

fuck. fuck. fuck.
damn it.
being pissed + emo is so fucked up.
argh.

will i stop it. i juz gotta smile thru this all.
i lost control. can u save me.

Dewi

explicit language.

2007-05-10T16:03:00.000+08:00

what's next in my life?
heck!
no way, am i gonna drift along in life.
i gotta do something.
i gotta make sure i know i was alive.
not a driftwood in the ocean.
Please Allah, show me a sign

gonna include my horoscope wif every entry now.

The universe is sending you career ideas now, but you won't recognize them at first.

*edit: fuck. i cant stop the nagging feeling tat u're hiding lotsa crucial stuff from me.
fuck. i juz wish u'll go away.

oh fuck. i take that back.

Dewi

2007-05-09T07:47:00.000+08:00

i gotta stop playing ard.

i thought i had it control.
but i was wrong.
damn it.

when will tis emotions slip away?
and i need an aphrodisiac.

Love
Dewi

Su - i not MINAH! noooooo! Min-ah is Minah la. hahahha.
Miss Ya!

IQ 127

2007-05-08T14:58:00.000+08:00

My IQ is only 127!? Minz has 132!
fuck. i could be a certified bimbo.

love Dewi

too emotional.

2007-05-08T00:19:00.000+08:00

i'm not emo. hell no. it's juz pms.
and tat i have a fcuk up point-of-view.

i think i rant too much bout him.
it's depressing. i shall stop now.
NEXT IN LINE PLEASE!

cheeRs!
Dewi

to minz - WAH LIAO!! MY SISTER LOOKING FOR IT. COME OUT LIAO AH?? WHR?? AND Y AREN"T U STUDYING!! TUES LAST PAPER!! JIA YOU!!

wkend updates.

2007-05-07T00:17:00.000+08:00

fri was love. WC Park wif buds.
car rides is absolutely my fav pastime.
playground <3. Hm @ 6am. Den my life turn into a Bitch.

Miss Green Tea and Miss Yaty. Ya-tits!

sat. town was sleepy.
club was a-ok.
thanx miss jesslyn for the phonecall.

sun. meet my tums!
i love my tums!
fishnco and sakaesushi. great company. shopping.
sorry for sounding so fcukin emo whole day.
but still i know u love me!

work nightmare 2morrow. can someone kill me now.
and fuck. u're on my mind.
where are you?

Dewi

to Minz - Like me right!? Porku faster finish exam can or not. we go eat again! and NO PORKU!
to haris - u stalking me ah? hahah... cool...

song entry.

2007-05-06T03:46:00.000+08:00

Everyday, I try to play, another game
But my heart can’t take it.
I try to find, another boy,
But all the while, I can’t face it.
Why do I miss you so much?
I wanna stop this hurt inside
Oh baby please, give us one more try

I wanna call, but then I stall,
Cause after all, I just couldn’t take it
Cause if your play was to push me away
You know that day, my heart you’d break it

think thats all i can say now.
wait.

But I'm still a bit naive with my heart
When you're close I don't breathe
I can't find the words to speak
I feel sparks
But I don't want to be into you
If you not lookin for true love
No I don't wanna start seein' you
If I can't be your only one

So tell me when it's not alright
When it's not OK
Will you try to make me feel better?
Will you say alright?
Will you say OK?
Will you stick with me through whatever?
Or run away

i think i know the ans.

When you came to me
Yeah, I thought you’d be like every other guy that I’d ever met
We’d hang for a while then I’d soon forget you
But this is something new
I was not prepared to wonder where you are when you’re not with me
This feels so crazy

I thought I had control
But I slipped, and I don’t, and I don’t know where to go
I thought I knew it all (knew it all)
But all I do is think about the next time I see you
I thought I had control
But we kissed, and I slipped and I don’t know where to go
All I really know;
It’s getting too emotional

It’s a strange feeling
To care about someone, I guess I never really did ‘til I met you, boy
How was I to know how you would affect me?
They say I talk too much
I talk too much about you
The definition of being out of control and I don’t wanna feel this anymore

Dewi

Thirty-three questions about relationships

2007-05-02T16:03:00.000+08:00

1. single or taken?-- Single
2. Do you have a crush on anyone?-- no
3. Do they know?-- who? i dun have any crush.
4. Do you flirt a lot?-- yea. part of being a girl.
5. Who was your best relationship with?-- no one.
6. Do cheaters deserve a 2nd chance?-- yea. depends.fuck. i dunno.
7. Serious or Fun-loving?-- a mix of both.
8.Humor or fun-loving?-- a mix of both.
9. Dark or light hair?-- Dark
10. Shorter or taller than you?-- Taller pls.
11. Do you kiss strangers?-- yea.
12. Do you hug strangers?-- yea.
13. How long was your longest relationship?-- 1 yr odds? i think. cant remember.
14. Do you believe in kissing when you are not together yet?-- sorta. depends on who.
15. Do you think about the opposite sex a lot?-- of course. m human. curiosity.
16. Have you ever slept at a friend of the opposite sex's house?-- nope.
17. Do you tell your friends they are hot?-- yea.
18. Would you rather have a sweet,clever guy/girl or a wild one?-- either which gives me attention. u gotta try almost everything once rite.
19. Have you ever liked someone a lot(& they knew it) who didn't like youback?-- i think so. crap. it was embarrassing.
20. Do you feel comfortable with joking with your friends who are the opposite sex?-- yea. girls and guys can be juz frens.
21. Chocolates or flowers?-- neither. i want hugs and kisses. or teddy bears!
22. Have you ever been in the friends-with-benefits situation?-- i think i may be in it now. feeling ain't great.
23. Teddy Bear or Card?-- Teddys! i'll probably lose the card by accident. my room is such a mess.
24. Would it be sweet or annoying if someone of the opposite sex called just to say hi?- depends on whether i like him? as in frens la.
25. Ever felt like your girlfriend/boyfriend didn't like you?-- yea. fuck words. actions speaks louder.
26. Ever been cheated on?-- nope. i know when to end the game.
27. Ever done the cheating?-- not exactly. we werent really 2gether den.. i think...
28. Ever cried over a break up?-- not really.
29. Ever kissed or hugged your girlfriend/boyfriend in front of a teacher and got in trouble?-- nope. never dated anyone from same sch before.
30. Do you believe in miracles?-- Sorta.
31. Is it easy for you to get over people who were special to you?-- nope. people leaves memories in your life.
32. Have you ever made a birthday wish or blew on a dandelion on a relationship?-- yea. waste of my wishes.
33. Have you ever had a broken heart?-- of course. m a girl.

m in sch. n this is the teletubbies of my course.

i gotta finish all my reports before 2nite.
i think today m feeling better.
m starting to be myself again.
n i got a kiss from a fren. even if it was a dare la.
till den. off to play uno.

m loving it.

Dewi

Happy Labour Day.

2007-05-02T02:20:00.000+08:00

i juz realise, i dunno wats labour day. other than it being a holiday. woo hoo.
someone enlighten me.

oh yea, n before i forget(happens frequently la)
i got 1 person name wrong Hazrin = Haris n yes, Hazmi is v. DIVA-like.
Kenneth got competition.

ha. i mention 3 people here. go find who they are.

went out wif the Mr FuzzyWuzzy n Gang again.
tis time it's sheesha! (which i didnt do much)
m not smoker! (actually, dun know how to really sheesha la. but muz act cool wat.) :p
did go there once wif Mr. Ice n frens.
wonder when will we hang outz again.

i love arab street. but the stuff found there has freaky prices!
n i found a love thr!
introducing .... JACK!
a pet cat @ 1 of the store.
dun he look like the cat from Shrek??

i love Pet Cats. heck i even love pet dogs!
y i put pet? cause i only like those that are fat and pampered animals.
human-friendly la.

and well me being me, juz discover another function of my lovely phone! :-)

m lovin it. ha.

more self cam-whoring.
so not healthy.

i probably should be headin to sleep soon.
yet i cant.
Mr Southpark, is driving me crazy.
i gotta move along.
oh yea. my bday is in exactly, 24 days from today.
m turnin old.
buhbye.

short of Love.
Dewi

My wkplace.

2007-04-30T11:49:00.001+08:00

M rottin here wif an headache.
Will smone rescue me?

*edit*
and tis is wat u do when u're bored out of ur mind.
M getting out soon!

Deprive of love here.
Dewi

emo @ 3 am. minah style.

2007-04-30T02:53:00.000+08:00

Bila Rindu

Dikeheningan malam,
Termenung ku berseorang
Tak lena mata dipejam
Terdengar suara terngiang
Suara merdu yg disayang
Bagai kau didepan mata
Ku capai tapi tak kena
Sukarnya memendam rasa
Ingin ku luahkan kata

Korus:
Bila rindu,
Terkenang mu sayang, terasa sayu,
Syahdunya jiwa ku bila malam makin kelam,
Jauh terbang diri ku melayang,
Aku rindu,
Sentuhan mu, ku rasa sayu,
Inginkan jiwa mu selubungi jiwa ini,
Bawa ku dalam pelangi,
Melepasi batas diri ini.

Jauh angan ku lena
Kurasa kita bersama
Kau bawa daku kesana
Ke alam kisah yang lama
Kenangan didalam jiwa
Bila terjaga semula
Disisiku kau tiada
Sukarnya ku pendam rasa
Inginku luahkan semua

Sesungguhnya kita mestilah
Wujudkan sefahaman dan hormat menghormati
Ikhlas kasih
Sabar insyAllah kita akan
Bertemu semula

Aura yang memecah semesta
Menyampaikan pesan kesunyian dikala sendirian
Kesepian menyelubungi hari-hariku
Disajikan dalam doa-doa rindu
Yang menanti kau datang dan pergi
Seperti mimpi-mimpiku fantasiku
Bukan dongeng lagi yang sayup kedengaran
Disisi cuping di setiap corong
Lorong yang lohong
Benar ku tak bohong
Bila hati menyanyi

it's raining.
dat explains my emo-ness.
not.
bedtime. nitez.

it's u that i want.

2007-04-30T00:53:00.000+08:00

car rides for today.
Hm - JP - West Coast Park - Changi - Expo - Simpang Bedok - BB - Hm.
absolutely love.
bestie, wads wrong?

i wan more car rides.
m loving it.
pics?
lackin. busy driving la.

not looking forward to attachment later.
been a good girl over the wkend.
i like it.
i feel gd.
sometimes the goodness in me have to take over.
else, m gonna go totally insane 24/7 and no more juz wkend 'disease'.
Ha!
do u guys know wad m talkin bout?
Go figure.

LOTSA LOVE n HUGS
DEWI

63/100

2007-04-30T00:06:00.000+08:00

(x) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) done weed
(x) kissed a member of the same sex
(x) drank something alcohol

SO FAR: 3

( ) been in love
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) been in a fist fight.

SO FAR: 4

(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
(x) gone out on a blind date

SO FAR: 6

(x) had a crush on an older person
(x) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
(x) seen someone/something die

SO FAR: 9

(x) had/have a crush on one of your FRIENDSTER friends
( ) been to Paris
( ) been to States
(x) been on a plane
(x) thrown up from drinking

SO FAR: 12

(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
( ) met someone BECAUSE of myspace
(x) been mosh pitting

SO FAR: 14

( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken pain killers
(x) love/like someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel

SO FAR: 17

( ) had a tea party
(x) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up

SO FAR: 21

(x) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
(x) fallen asleep at work/school

SO FAR: 25

(x) used a fake/someone else's ID
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
( ) killed a snake

SO FAR: 27

(x) been tickled
( ) been robbed/vandalized
( ) robbed someone
(x) been misunderstood
( ) pet a reindeer

SO FAR: 29

(x) won a contest
(x) been suspended from school
(x) had detention.
( ) been in a car/motorcycle accident

SO FAR: 32

(x) had/have braces
( ) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight

SO FAR: 35

(x) hated the way you look
(x) witnessed a crime
(x) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
(x) been obsessed with post-it notes

SO FAR: 40

(x) squashed barefoot through the mud
(x) been lost
( )been to the opposite side of the world
( ) swam in the ocean
(x) felt like you were dying.

SO FAR: 43

(x) cried yourself to sleep
(x) played cops and robbers
( ) recently coloured with crayons/colored, pencils/markers.
(x) sang karaoke
(x) paid for a meal with only coins

SO FAR: 47

(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) kissed in the rain

SO FAR: 50

( ) written a letter to Santa Clause
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
( ) watched the sun rise with someone you care/cared about
(x) blown bubbles
( ) made a bonfire on the beach

SO FAR: 51

(x) crashed a party
( ) have traveled more than 5 days with a car full of people
(x) gone roller skating/ blading
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey

SO FAR: 54

(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed "penis" at a sport game.
( ) swimming with dolphins

SO FAR: 55

( ) got your tongue stuck to a pole/freezer/ice cube
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sex clothes
(x) sat on a roof top

SO FAR: 57

(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) can do a one-handed cartwheel
(x) talked on the phone for more than 3 hours
(x) stayed up all night

SO FAR: 60

( ) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had/been in a tree house
( ) aren't scared to watch scary movies alone.

SO FAR: 61

(x) believe in ghosts
(x) have/had more than 30 pairs of shoes
( ) gone streaking
( ) been in jail

SO FAR: 63

i've done 63 things out of 100 stuff in my life.

m havin a life.
seriously.
i have no idea.

Dewi

I got a new hp!

2007-04-28T15:32:00.001+08:00

My title says it all.
Yea.
M off to vivo again.
Have a great wkend guys!
U know u gotta love me!
Dewi

Love u guys!

2007-04-28T03:43:00.000+08:00

Nitetime.
wild hogs was great. Company was gd.
Early morning.
Time wif ya are love.
We juz gotta do something.
Do u know whr we heading?

Need some love.
Dewi

My lappie

2007-04-27T17:30:00.000+08:00

I think m gonna love sony ericsson!

summer love. bullshit.

2007-04-26T00:34:00.000+08:00

sorry. but i so feel a need to vent.

fuck.fuck.fuck.fuck.FUCK.fUCk. yoU.

rain or no rain.
i fEel so fuck.
i wonder how u can make me feel so much with 1 simple action.

fuCk me. am i so weak.
people affects me.

iDiot! idiOt!
probably headin back to use LJ.

a jerk.

2007-04-25T23:24:00.000+08:00

a jerk. define a jerk.
i know lotsa jerks. but dun worry, none is my frens.
they just only happen to be ones tat i like.

life is good.
love life sucks.

umpteen times i said m gonna move on.
i still aint moving.
roadblock.
my feelings.

y u said those things u said.
when i think we may moving forward.
it aint happening again.

tis is the 2nd time.
should have taken a hint.

i shall not say thanx for being in my life once.
cause u were never in it.

goodbye.
and i mean it tis time.

credits to ferial_nad

ain't much love 2nite,
Dewi

Weekend

2007-04-23T12:35:00.000+08:00

Fridays , Saturdays are love!

Went Driving wif Miss Fishballer on Friday and we had Popeyes! whr?
CHANGI! YEA! i finally drove there! hahaha...
LOOOOOve the mashed PotAtoes and fries. hate the chicken. *bluek*

i love airplanes! i dunno y... i juz do!

saw 1 of the Mr Musketeer @ Redhill... QIQILALA!
he tembam! gd gd! hahah...
got hm ard 4.30 pluss....

habit gettin hm late on wkends man...

Saturday went shopping wif the Sis.
Bought quite a no of stuffs.
Met up wif Mr FuzzyWuzzy & frens after Dinner @ Valley Point Starbucks.
bet no u guys dunno whr is tat rite! hahaha...
who was there...
hmm... let me recall..

*only tis time real names are bein disclosed*hey i cant think of so many nicknames!*

Matin,Hazmi,Hasri(i think?), Desmond, Jess, Big Jess, Liyana, Joyce and Zarin.
Played dumb mind games la.
dun ask. later i show ya.
got a headache la.
but lotsa laughter! i loike!

den we went esplanade.
lee, Jess and Hasri had to leave 1st..
den left wif 6 of us (Big Jess, Matin, Hazmi, Joyce, ME & Matin's fren Padz?)
we went Clark Quay McDs were ANOTHER of Matin's fren joined Marilyn
she pretty u know.. hahah...
eh Matin, u lotsa fren ah... illegal gathering!

oh! saw Miss RockOn! from my sec sch! my eng teacher back in e old days! hahah!
She still the same la... hahah... she recognise but doubt she remembers my name! :P

afterwards went MOS area to meet Zarin who juz ended his shift at Starbucks.
we went to Spize but before that we got lost. hahah.. oh well.. still fun la...

too bad no cams that nite...

had food in my tummy
makes yatie a happie mummy!
hahahah!

went back wif sis afterwards and got hm ard 4 odds?

woke up early on sun for work...
and was so freakin hungry la eventhough i had like Beef Horfun at 3 plus in the morn!
bought Hokkien Mee ( I love! ) for brunch..

had sushi ard evening somemore...
seriously freakin glutton la..

went hm straight.
but a phonecall from someone ruined my happy trip back.
so emo, went hm and ate a packet of beef steak.
fuck la.
did i mention i have constipation for the past 3 days!
i got bottomless pit ah!?

m hungry now.. pics up later!

*edit: the internet connection @ my wkplace sucks la!!
really no civilisation here! *bluek!

yann and shasha

fellow fishballer!

satisfied tummies = happy ppl

man of the nite! hahah!and this sums up my sat:

i swear i lost some braincells that nite. thanx ah.

still Love!
Dewi

no aim.

2007-04-20T14:09:00.000+08:00

omg.
i'm so sian.

i wanna drive 2nite. go where? i also dunno. si bei sian.

i wanna slack. wif ppl i like. no club 2nite. i dun wan.

but i lazy go out also. hahah. walking contradiction!

till den..

love Dewi

maria...

2007-04-18T22:30:00.000+08:00

watched 200 pounds of beauty
n i actually cried..
omg. the movie portraits the life of the ugly and fat so true la!
can relate.

things happen.
weekend fools.
sushi.tcc.coffeeclub.marina.vivo.shop.bike rides.ecp.mos.esplanade.
good n bad.
friends r loves.

wish more chill out crazy moments rather than hype out crazy moments.

when u get high, u do stupid stuff.

a guy got my no again.
tat makes him the 4Th.
for this yr.
i used to be flattered.
but not anymore.
is my frens givin out my no?
cause em always says
'i got ur no from my fren/my fren's fren'
apparently tat fren loses his name when being questioned.

wat if my no is written somewhr that the public can see?!
omg!
if you guys ever see it, do help me erase!!!
bugger..

wkend ahead.
n already m not lookin forward to it.

It doesn't matter who you love or how you love, but that you love.

just love me people n i'll love you back!

love
Dewi

blah blah blah

2007-04-11T14:31:00.000+08:00

shit la..
i juz msg Mr. Southpark.
n m hyperventilating by myself in the office.

i need to scream n run now!
kns! kns!

i need a new hp.
tis one is gonna get me in trouble sooner than later.
ha!
n i blame it on the hp!

shit shit shit!
i so wanna bang my head against the wall.
but i dun wanna disfigured this creation of art.
so i won't.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

alamak. pathetic la.
i so hope no one read tis.

*edit*
pardon me for the nonsensical mutterings of a psycho stuck in a 'box-like-office'.
m calm now...
n e finished piece i juz did...

i seriously need to get a toyboy.

cheeRs!
DeWi

move along

2007-04-10T11:11:00.000+08:00

i need to ask ya.
but i fear to dial ur no.
oh wait.
i deleted your no again.

all this time, i wanna truly believe ya
but i doubt every single word u said.
should have trusted my instinct.
now look who has gotten hurt
n for sure it ain't you boy.

i wonder what's on ur mind all these while.
do u even know the turmoil i went thru.
i dunno wassup wif u boy.
u put honey words in my ears.
but actions do speak louder than words.
n there was none of it ever.

i thought we could have a future.
but fate tells otherwise.
my dear fren wonder whether i'll ever fall in love.
i wonder too u know.

it hurts to fall.
m hurtin now.
so did i fall.
it's not mutual.

even if i dun move on.
the world does.
i dun wanna be left behind.

so i pick myself up.
put on a smile.
n move along.

lalalla

2007-04-09T01:58:00.000+08:00

i whisperered thank you while turning the photo album
always,always in my heart, a person who encourages me
On any days, clear sky or raining, that same smile emerges on your face
even when my memories of you fades away
i would search through my mind again
and on days when i recall you in my memories, tears flow endlessly

wishing to the stars to be with you again, this has become my new habit
when i look up to the sky during sunset, i'm searching for you in my mind
whenever i'm feeling sad or happy, i recall that smile
If you can see me from where you are now
i will believe we will meet again someday, and i'll go on with my life

i'll be lonely, i'll be missing you
still have feelings left for you
i want to see you

guess what song tis from..
n it ain't in english

a jerk.

2007-04-08T15:15:00.000+08:00

m eating a crunchie bar.
and those who knows me, knows i dun eat chocolate bars ever.

n m feeling depress. well not really depress...

i pig out when m absolutely frustrated!

gawd.. i hate myself for being so pathetic over a guy.
a guy who absolutely have EVERY idea of wat m feeling for him.

vented out my frustrations on food.
ordering pizza n stuff n m fcukin eating it alone.

tat's all.
till m better, dun get pissed if i keep muttering to myself.
how more psycho can i get?!

love no one, till someone says they do.
Dewi

*edited*
i ordered pizza n wings juz now. n m eating it alone.
fuck.
pardon my language.

random words for me to understand..

2007-03-30T01:03:00.000+08:00

i don't wanna hear the sounds of bikes
i don't wanna see ur 'type' of bikes ard
i don't wanna be reminded of you
cause i fear i may fall harder.

my heart bets painfully in the night
raw emotions flowing thru
i can't stop it
i cant prevent it

i took a leap forward
den a step again
it's ur move next
but how long will i be waiting.

m here & i saw u
ur thr, did you see me
n i wonder who shall make the next move?

i'll cry if u left before i do
without even saying a Hi

thr's a gap in my heart
it feels so hollow
i can feel the wind passing thru
n sorrow coming thru

i gotta stop before i blurt out more nonsense
sometimes girls can be pathetic...
wanting something tat is not within their grasp but running from something that is standing right in front of them..

tat's wat i am.
a walking contradiction.

Quizzes for fun..

2007-03-29T10:34:00.000+08:00

tis is wat i did today:

You Are An Ash Tree
--> You are vivacious and impulsive, which makes you extremely attractive to many.
--> Intelligent and demanding, you don't care much for criticism.
--> You have a ton of ambition and talent, and sometimes money rules your heart.
--> You like to play with fate, and you can be very egotistical and restless.
--> Demanding of attention, you need love and a lot of emotional support.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gemini - Your Love Profile

1)Your positive traits:
--> Your lively, outgoing attitude attracts people to you everywhere you go.
--> You can talk your way into - and out of - any situation you desire.
--> You're adaptable enough to flirt with anyone - and people tend to fight over you.

2)Your negative traits:
--> You get easily bored in relationships, and tend to jump from person to person.
--> You tend to be a bit of a player - and have a high tolerance for drama in relationships.
--> Not the most empathetic person, you tend to tell lovers to "get over" their problems.

3)Your ideal partner:
--> Is intelligent and quick witted enough to keep you interested.
--> Is a bit of a shape shifter, providing you with the variety you crave.
--> An open minded person, who's willing to have a non-traditional relationship.

4)Your dating style:
--> Exciting.
If your date shows you a new experience (like Egyptian food or scuba diving), you're very happy.

5)Your seduction style:
--> Experimental: it's rare that you try the same thing twice.
--> Ultra kinky - you do stuff that's not even in books yet.
--> Hot and cold... sometimes you're just not into the whole sex thing.

6)Tips for the future:
--> Settle down a little. Sometimes good things come with time - so don't let people go so fast.
--> Acknowledge that you're a player and flirt. If your mate can't live with this, find someone who can.
--> Give your partner a little more attention. You don't have to be a social butterfly all the time.

Best color to attract mate: Sunny yellow
Best day for a date: Wednesday
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Are 60% Open Minded
--> You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.
--> Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.
--> But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.
--> You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Are The Lovers
--> You represent ideal love: innocence, trust, exhilaration and joy.
--> You demonstrate the harmony of opposites, two sides coming together.
--> At times, you also represent the struggle between what is right and what is tempting.
--> Control is an issue for you, especially when you don't know your reasons for choosing something.

Your fortune:
--> You have an important choice you need to make about love, and it will be a difficult choice to make.
--> You are likely struggling between the love you crave and the love that is right.
--> In the end, you will choose what you crave, even if it's bad for you. Because without what you crave, you will feel empty and incomplete.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You Are 32% Spoiled
--> You're barely spoiled. You may have some nice things, but you never let them go to your head.
--> You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never Date a Leo
--> Dramatic, egotistical, and emotional - a Leo is way too high maintenance for you!
--> And forget about a quick fling with an alluring Leo. It's either everything or nothing with this sign!
--> Instead try dating: Virgo, Capricorn, Pisces, or Cancer
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

see wat bored ppl do...
today is payday but i dunno whether m getting paid though...
*shy* to ask... lol...
well we shall wait till 5th den to know...
or else.... m screwed for tis comin mth!
no money = less fun!

pic of the day:

i wanna be on that ferris wheel & watch the sun sets,
with you by my side.

much love!

Dewi

2007-03-29T01:19:00.000+08:00

tarot cards are interesting...
but my readings.... somehow, i wanna believe yet at the same time, dun wish for it to happen..

i gotta shut my mouth sometimes...
words juz come out...
n regrets come flowing in..

n guess who's not online?
it's like 1.38am.m tired. n i haven started on my presentation for later.
i'm screwed.
ha. wats new?

anyone knows whr i can get helium-filled balloons?

i longed for stars n sunrise gazing..
i longed for you to want me...
n now i shall wait..

and i'm feeling bouts of sadness.

tis sucks.

Dewi

up up up to date!

2007-03-28T09:26:00.000+08:00

*edited*
i'm going back to sch later! finally!
n i have to submit all the reports by 2morrow!
so ain't gonna be at dance 2nite...
probably be coming for B Classes on fri? starts @ 8.30.. so i won't have to rush...
damn freaking rusty man...

my menses hasn't come since Jan! tat'll make me 2 mths 'pregnant'?!
no wonder m like pms-ing every other day... tat's wat not havin regular menses does to ya!
hahaha... excuse me for being bitchy everyone... :P

currently, life has been ok...
not lacking in anything...
but still miss Mr Funk!
thanx for calling from Taiwan!
m gonna dread looking at the hp bill.

i wish i can go on a trip now!
but attachment prevents me... hai...

but m heading somewhr ard June... short trip but at least somewhr i've never been to...

k now, m hungry....... someone feed meeeeeeeeee...

i want to go to Settlers' Cafe n Cafe Del Mar!

i have tis weird fear of riding those bikes... not all.. but only 1 kind...
actually find the bigger bikes kinda cool...
oh well.. i prefer to be in a vehicle dat enclosed me in...

so today, gotta:
1)Check out Laptop fair
2)Return TT dvd
3)Read Tarot Cards
4)Finish QM

weekend plans for now:
1) Watch movies wif Darling
2) Chill Out wif .......
3) Eatz Out wif FDTK..
4) Dates? hahah.. we'll see how!

wonder when will i get my pay?

my wishlist! :

*new samsung hp got a Sony Ericsson w850i
*black jelly shoes kinda small though
*converse natural low cut
*new slick+power specs lappie
*new dress
*new peep-toe high heels
*new bags
*lose 8kg by nov
*decide on my Uni path
*go overseas for a longer holiday (1wk or more!)
*have more fun!

tat's wat i want for now! not much rite... see i not tat greedy wat....

till den!

Love love!
Dewi

Cherish That Boi

2007-03-21T17:06:00.001+08:00

kinda hook on the song at the moment...

m not interested anymore.

2007-03-19T02:42:00.000+08:00

i think... m really givin up...

we dun have anything in similar so far...

n partly, i dun wan to do anymore chasing... it's tiring...
sometime y do i even bother playing games wif people who clearly does not even know how?

does he like me? tat i can't answer confidently.

btw, whoever wanna make new fren, can call tis no-- .. email me if ya wanna tat no!
hahah... some guy wanted new fren so i 'helping' him advert..

gd riddance!

for now, lets juz stop wif all the guy games and enjoy life before my 20 birthday...

oh yea.. Mr Funk is off to taiwan for the whole of next mth.

well boy... enjoy u 21ST there with the cheena babes aite and take care doing all the 'man' stuff!
hahah... now dun go and get a mistress while u're there!

till den..
wish upon a star.

Dewi

14th March

2007-03-15T12:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my 1st day at work..

packaging co in tuas...

boring ah...
had to do production work in the morn den go to the office in the afternoon..

the office colleagues were not bad... they treat me lunch..

v.sian..
sms-ed Mr. Southpark the whole day yesterday..
den he added me on msn & we chat till like 2..

i dun wan to say he's boring but i dun feel stimulated when we talk.
mly called berbual kosong.
maybe it's juz me.
m naturally so random sometimes.
well, aite! most of the time.

maybe i confessed to soon?
wat has done cannot be undone anyway.
juz move on.

went to the gym wif Miss Minah after work..
before tat my dad picked me up from J.P. & ate the Tom Yam Mee Suah which was damn delicious!

didn't run on the treadmill but did a lot of the fast walk exercises...
i was happy i sweat..

i turn sweating out in proper attire makes me feel happy...
endophines was released afterall :-)

should make this a weekly routine..

gonna go back to Tuas at 1pm later...

m like so tired now... hahah...

till den..

Dewi

13 March

2007-03-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

maybe i'll make it a daily blog every nite cause after all i still log on to the net every nite & no one knows bout tis blog it seems...

oh well...

kept in contact wif Mr Southpark again...
Thanx Mr FuzzyWuzzy!
Mr FuzzyWuzzy is like my fav. boy at the moment in the IHP r0om!

2morrow @ 7.45am i shall have to be at boon lay mrt...
start of my IAP program..

pros: gettin paid + experience
cons: tuas area+"mature" colleagues+early wakin hrs.

oh well... lets see how i'll survive...
the work m suppose to do actually seem quite tough..

hopefully i can do a good job by the end of 2.5 mths..

attachment is until aug...
n no eye candy to boot!

how will i survive! how ?! how?! how?!

hahaha...

till den..

Life has been Good... Amin..
Dewi

2007-03-12T16:58:00.000+08:00

drove to sch today..

but like only me, Miss Hootz & Mr.7-11 was in the lab...

Miss Twin had a funeral to attend.. the rest went to KL..

so boring...

went west coast for lunch but all shops were closed.. so headed to clementi & ate kfc..

was worried in a way that i'll "accidentally" bump into Mr Southpark..
but luckily did not...
but dun think it was either relieved or sad...

watched Nodame Cantibile & it was good!...

went to Mr FuzzyWuzzy's place @ Bishan afterwards...

the guys decided to watch 300 @ Vivo today...
dun feel like it...

oh when will i cheer up again?

till den...

Dewi

feeling abit down...

2007-03-11T00:00:00.000+08:00

*edited*

so i did the confession after prom...
2nd March 2007.

he did contacted me for 2 days.. and den it has since been silence..
guess he doesn't like me back huh..

secretly like him for 4 yrs.. i think
i read somewhr that i takes 3 times as long to forget about someone..
so tat'll take me ard 12 yrs?
ha!

Mr. Bballer case was luckily about 2 yrs?
so 6 yrs..
4 yrs had passed..
so i'm left wif 2 more yrs?
saw him once at my dance production last yr and i still feel a slight "pain" seeing him..
so maybe it's true?

guess time shall heal all wounds..

but for now, i shall hate:
1. seeing fast food delivery bike
2. motorbikes like those typical mly boys ride on
3. clementi area
4. prom pictures

till den, dun piss me off!
emo la!

Dewi

2007-02-09T02:04:00.000+08:00

unrequited love.
the feeling is so intense.
it beats actually falling in love.
is tat y i dun last in relationship.

As i was walkin back hm earlier on, something occured to me..
i dun want to fall in love.
i dun want to get married.

i dun believe i love.
Love is like a ghost.
Everyone knows about it but rarely does anyone "sees" it.

it's unfair to label a woman of 30 yrs n above as an old maid
but a man who's turning 30 as growing into a man..

y muz girls suffer more cause she's born a she?

would u rather be thin n ugly or fat n beautiful?
ans: thin n ugly.

would u rather be run over by a truck or be fat?
ans: run over a truck.

tat's the ans u would get from most fat girls out there..
know y?
it's tough being a girl already and now ur fat too..
endless teasing, bullying, name-calling...
"hey, joking only la." tat's wat all they'll say when ever an
adult reprimand em..
U know how words hurt more than beatings?
Bruises can be healed with time. the pain will be gone once the
wound heals..
But words linger mentally. our brain stores memories that often is
more hurtful den happiness.
call me sensitive.
i hate when ppl uses explicit/angry/hurtful words to express their
anger.
no matter what u do, u can't take it back once u said it.
Bullies will forget wat they did. but not the ones who got bullied.

my memories of being bullied(now i know wat they were doing, no longer
would i think it was only fun n games) will always be fresh in my mind..
do they even remember?

a listener.
i like being tat.

my thoughts.

2007-01-27T20:40:00.000+08:00

i feel so sick..

been skipping dance for god knows how many times..

assignments are never ending.

parents are finally home.

social life is dead.

love life was never alive.

sch.home. tat's my schedule.

been driving.

been thinking nonsense.

wats tat in life i ask everyday.

no excitement cause i dun do anything?

tried once, but life was all fake.

fake people. fake smiles. fake hugs. fake all around.

wat exactly am i looking for?

not love. not life. maybe something something else.

the sky is beautiful.

wat lays in the other world?

a death and a birth greeted me in 2007.

i'm turning 20.

and no, i'm not celebratin my bday by asking.

where shall my attachment be?

wat shall i do when my attachment ends in 6mths time?

i'm going inside a shell.

the world is not stopping for anyone.

shall i pick up my legs and start moving somewhere?

anywhere?

will a sign from above give me a hint?

i'm lost.

the ghost of me.

2007-01-18T01:29:00.000+08:00

fate..
wat exactly is it?
is it fate i'm like this?
when i change, it is also fated?
yet ppl say u can change fate..
but how can u know the original layout of ya life n order to say u have change ur fate?
wat change? it was part of ur fate.

2007.. 18 days into the year.. started off wif a death in my life.
non-celebration. wats there to celebrate?

often feeling out of this world... not in good nor a bad way.. juz something..
a sense of often "looking in" rather than being in..
i do stuff to keep my mind from wandering like it is now..

often caught "zoning" out yet i'm not..
i'm quite aware of my surroundings but at the same time too detached from it..

it's like i've lost my spirit to live.. alive yet dead.
foremost, i dun wan to kill myself.
yet i dun see any purpose in living.

i know i'm lucky to have wat i have in terms of living comforts and family in my life.
yet there's juz something that is making me constantly sinkin lower into my own
world.

i like people yet i HATE em at the same time.
notice how i say hate.

i see the good in people who treat me yet will hate em for treating me good.
often being nasty.
how many times i can't count i left good companions for somebody else who is treating me as a spare tyre..
standing at the edge of a circle that doesn't belong to me.
i can be at the comfort of being 1 in a circle yet i choose another that will "join hands" wif me depending on their mood.
in other simplier words.. i always want to be at places where i'm not wanted..
y?
anyone can analyse me?

5 years i've gotten these feelings.. always leaving it harder for me to break thru..
4 years of "rollercoaster rides of emotions". "Gasping for saneness" throughout my years in sec sch.
how my old frens describe me as being e "active and noisy kid"...

i trust too easily.
yet suspicious as easily.

i look n i wonder.
tat's all i ever do.

havin convos in my head.

talking yet nobody hears me.
am i really invisible?
i know u heard wat i said but y do u pretend not to hear?

i grow softer by day.
y?
ur voices are drowning mine.

love.
a word i can never feel.
i get damn pissed by those feelings.
it leads ya to sadness.

i dun believe love exists.
only mutual respect, trust & companionship exists.
never once did i mutter i love u & mean it.
seems evil or sad rubbish but truth is there.

i lost 10 kg last year..
mainly due to danzation..
other was the "feelings" came back again.

i was trying so hard to "feel" alive/great so i can perform good.
now i feel so drained out..
i can't force myself anymore.

another sleepness night to add to my collections of numerous "sleep lulabyes".

$$ matters

2006-12-30T18:12:00.000+08:00

i gotta keep track of $$ stuff..
so here goes..

To Account
POSB Savings 057-42***-* Ariel
Amount S$8.00
Transaction Reference 985358397

To Account
POSB Savings038-43***-* Orange
Amount S$8.00
Transaction Reference 985363991

To Account
POSB Savings124-63***-* Eleanor
Amount S$8.00
Transaction Reference 985366842

so i'm left wif about 3 more ppl i think...
i love $$ ! hehehe...
reminds me of my childhood dream to be a cashier! hahahah... alrite..

i'm off to KL from 31st till 3rd...
Happy New Year & Selamat Hari Raya Haji!
Have fun & welcome a new year!

so i shall start..

2006-12-18T03:11:00.000+08:00

Went Vivo on Sat! finally! been wanting to go back thr (since 1st uneventful time) for such a long time for only 2 purpose! which is... SHOPPING & EATING!
heheh... n i did tat on Sat!

Met up wif My Tum Tum (shall forever blog wif nick names i BESTOWED on ppl! :P) who saved me from serious dyin of boredom at hm.. i've got no frens la (minz u better dun laugh!)

we met up at orchard.. went Topshop(whr i seriously doubt i can find anything i like anymore..) , Taka(a slight deteor as we were busy bitchin about lovely people in our lives till couldn't get our direction rite!)
Heeren(juz to see the NUM guy but told tum tum wanted to collect my NUM card! who wasn't even thr!) den ate at Subway Cine!! 1 foot Teriyaki Chix is the ultimate(1 of the staff was lookin gd... ) !
took 65 or was it 67 to Vivo and we began our 'excercise+suaku' journey in!
MNG had a sale and i was sososoososososososo tempted to buy some tops+bottoms but still dun really like MNG products..*ahem* too small* ..

but love tat dress la tum tum!

headed to Topshop where there was some midnight sale going on.. so everything was 15% off!
took so many to try yet only bought 1 blue babydoll top... me looooove!! i love electricfying BLUE!
went Forever21 and i was so sosososososo dreaming to buy everything cause evrythin looks sooooooooo beautiful! but didn't bother to try any... dunno y..

Guess who i saw there?! Mr. F's twin! hahaha... was surprised that he recognised me!
oh yea... we all did hang out before rite?!
funny... he was wif his Mrs.. too bad didn't see how she look like... pretty sure a hot babe rite!

den i saw...... Miss Boobies at pull & bear or wateva tat store was called...
Looking good babe! ur mom seem pretty cool.. :-)
got nice apparel there.. didn't know... thanx for intro Tum Tum!
went Charles & Keith n was surprised they carry sizes up to 41!!
kk..maybe old news to u guys but heck i didn't know k... tried so many pairs! heheh.. TRY OnLY.. u think i can walk ah in heels...

after all that 'excercise', a girls' gotta recharge rite?!
headed into Carl's JR to try out e Beef Chilli Cheese Fries which Mr. F mention b4 & i was curious aite... :P
turns out nothing nice... love their iced tea though...
Bought Tum Tum outside e No Seafood Signboard Rest(dunno how ppl can think of such a name for their business..) Area to view la...
dunno wat the heck that deck called... lets call it the Illegal Gathering Area...

Saw a couple boats having a party on the boat... so cool! DJ was spinning some nice tracks... muz be some pretty rich ppl on board to have that party...
Spent time talking and comparing lives.. Really love talking to ya Tum Tum!

was panicking on the way hm.. being me.. i totally clueless bout singapore roads... eventhough im a throughbred singaporean ok!
finally figured out wayy hm after like climbing up&down e the bridge n it was like about 12.30 so panic somemore.

had a surprising msg from someone.. and i think we both know it's weird or ok, maybe juz me...
in all i had fun! juz unplanned fun...

thanx Tum Tum! we go spree soon aite!

n today i had to work. tat sums it all. oh ok. add my tummy to it.

havin a busy day later.. so gotta catch some zzzzzzz n it's raining! how lovely! i love nights when it rains... somehow so romantic... (i can be quite girly in alot of small ways!)

2006-12-16T03:21:00.000+08:00

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