i can't be like this anymore.
it's tiring & it's hopeless.
why can't you be gone from my mind.
my pride is in tatters.
i want you so much in my life.
after how u treated me.
i'm not blind. i see how u treat me.
yet my heart is blind. it beats on for ya.
i've got no space left for anything else.
advice & scoldings are often soft whispers in the wind.
something i can barely hear & feel affected by anymore.
m seriously at wits end going thru each day without u realising.
days outz can no longer be a remedy.
every thing i do is juz a shadow or a fantasy of what i wish we had.
why can't i have you?
who's there blocking ur feelings?
i tried to forget u.
erase every trace there is of u.
though we dun meet nor talk.
the ghost of u is around.
i tried replacing u.
been on many dates & diff guys.
but each time it hurts more and more.
the feeling juz aint the same.
i smile each day. yet i wish to cry every moment.
i stare at the wall to let my mind rest.
tis can't go on.
can somehow we put an end to tis?
oh god. tis is so pathetic.
we can't be together anyway.
if tis is how much i love you, i rather not love anymore.
i hate myself more each nite for falling for you.

life is exhausting if i have to live tis way anymore.
please give back my heart. i want to end this.
yet i cant face u & say all this.
nor do u know about tis blog.
i'm going crazy.
will u hug me & let me cry in ur arms.

my brain is so fucked up.
oh well. wads new.